About Me

My photo
blonde, blue eyed, do you want my likes and dislikes? Just Kidding. I'll fill this out at some time when I know exactly how to describe myself..which might be by someone else, post-mortum, only because I don't think I could sum myself up entirely, because people in general change everyday and can never make up their minds and if they are adamant about something? Well then they're not open to new ideas, research,and realizations. Everyday something happens that makes us different the next day than what we were the day before. That's life.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Vaseline Lens?

My painting pics I posted all look fuzzy, and less detailed, less vibrant. Some of them are elongated and/or cropped. Oh, well. The only people who comment are strange good looking men who say things like "comment" literally, I'm not kidding. Weird huh? Other than that there's the silent Derek and the (God I wish She was silent), Chelsea.
Right now I have an ever growing collection of Marble Glass that began to inspire me to paint, but the man held me back.
The Glass has a name, but I can't spell it. Culate, Colate? I don't know. It is the glass that is melted in a huge vat at old and some closed, marble factories around this area. They add pigments, minerals, even Uranium, to make the marbles' color's. When something goes wrong, the cooled pieces are chucked aside. Sometimes they're very rare pieces, sometimes large. Every detail has a name. Then there are the different shapes of the imperfect finished marbles, or even some that I have that are just fine. Some are called gems, depending on their shape, color, size, everything...has a different, name, value, etc. But I won't sell them. Some are from Jabo,  who only makes clears now. Then I have Fenton. Popular around here and highly collectible..mostly though they just make country style stuff. But I have these beautiful little opalescent turtles and butterflies, also some rounds and gems (flats).
People go on "runs" some quite scary and illegal as well as in hazardous areas. People also go to auctions. My friend Rick was supposed to drop off a bunch of great stuff he said He wanted to give me, because He had gone on a few marble runs and auctions. He doesn't keep the one's with fissures, or any major cracks, imperfections. Those are my favourite kind. I left him a message tonight because it always makes me feel better. Like a Raven that sees something shiny. Or maybe their just part of my art/female evolved instinct to be drawn to things that are shiny, colorful, and made of rare glass. Like diamonds.
Christ, I just realized that Blogger does have spellcheck..for  awhile there I expected it , but didn't see it until now. Good thing I'm not a complete moron.
Well anyway, you would think out of the millions of people on the internet, that I would know more and they would take notice of me, but I am as lonely as a small star that astronomer's already considered burned out long ago.
I don't think the communication era has brought the world together, but has made people less sensitive, and less physically, verbally as in "in person situations" socially adapted. Even at my son's Summer school, no one talks to each other, they just play with their phones. If it all shut down, there would be mass hysteria. These days, everyone has Social Anxiety Disorder and have lost their manners as well. You can say things to people on the internet you wouldn't dare to say to them in person. I should say wouldn't have, because children, especially, have become desensitized to other's emotions and seem to feed off their anger and/or pain. We should be scared, they'll run our world in the next decades. Will anyone have a life outside the confines of their technology? Will anyone remember how to respect and care for other's? Something that struck me was a news report where someone said "The future looks lazy." I guess in the future, when I'm 60, I won't mind a robot doing everything for me, as long as it's good in bed and can carry on a real conversation. Here's what's funny, the Blogger spellcheck doesn't recognize the word "internet".

Mourning Belle


They don't have titles, but this one and the next are generally seen as female and male.

This was when I stopped planning what I was going to paint, and just began painting. Everything seemed better since painting thswamp/castle thingy

The Art pics aren't so great b/c I had taken them with my iPhone.

More, this one's on my twitter page

A work in progress for my Mother

See if my paintings will actually show up this time

Rock On Beckham! on Twitpic

Rock On Beckham! on Twitpic

Monday, July 12, 2010

UNKLE - Eye For An Eye

Unkle / Keys To The Kingdom

UNKLE - Broken - The X-FIles: I want to Believe

Portishead Short Film "Road Trip"

Portishead - To Kill A Dead Man

Massive Attack - Protection

Portishead - glory box

DJ Shadow - High Noon

lamb gorecki

For Beckham and Pacey, my children.

Lamb - B-Line

Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy

Massive Attack - Karmakoma (HQ)

Massive Attack - Butterfly Caught

Massive Attack - Angel

I love to love - Bjork (1975)

She was already so lovely.

Manic Street Preachers - Everything Must Go

Muse - Knights Of Cydonia [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees

The Verve - The Drugs Don't Work

The Verve - Sonnet

Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy

Muse - Starlight [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Muse - Uprising [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Massive Attack - Paradise Circus

The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony

Radiohead - Creep

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Monday, July 5, 2010

Please help me raise money for a well by Oct.

thank you. We're trying to raise $5000. by October for a well. Through Twitter, FaceBook and mycharitywater page.

I gave water to someone today

Beckham complained about the water yesterday. I told him I just needed to change the Brita filter, that's all. Today a film company invited me to NY for a charity event to raise money for water for Africa. Makes you think, huh? Their water can kill them, I don't think they care whether it tastes good or not.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

About Me For Now

I know what true love is because I have children. What they feel for me and I for them is true love. Because of this, I know I've never had it in any other kind of relationship with anyone, except also a different kind with my dog Niki who passed away and my dog Brodie who I have now. Still I'm lonely, so maybe, but probably not, I'll find a true life with true love with an adult human. I have made two mistakes of wasted love that I gave and did not receive back. Was thrown away so easily, attacked, disgraced, shamed, abused, and the years with them treated as though they never existed. As though I never, we never, all the history together good or bad, never existed. Like I was just junk mail, tossed away, and the other keeps tearing me up as if I were trash even though I bore two beautiful children with him, He never loved me. I was nothing. So now my interests are starting over again and trying not to make the same mistakes again. Maybe, quite likely, at my age I don't have to worry about bringing anyone into my world and fear greatly to ever let anyone get that close to me or my children again. I must be strong. Strong for them as they are my world and there is so much beauty in the world that I want to show them. My children are my biggest interests of all. There is more to me than anyone will ever know, except that I must bring it out of me for and to them. They are my everything. My eldest is but four soon. He tells me that He is the wind, my Mother the moon, his younger brother, turning two soon, is a star, and I am the sun. Amazing, beautiful creatures. I guess I might be interested in knowing if that can exist between two adults. For now I focus on trying to get our freedom and becoming me again. Exercising my desires and talents. Showing them all the love I am capable of giving and never existing, without living, for another man again. I have to be me and help my children to be themselves and not what anyone else wants them to be. Independence, honesty, freedom, truth, how to care and be strong at the same time. How to fight with your brain and not your fists, and somehow raise them to be men with respect for others and above all, respect for themselves. First I have to teach myself how to be myself and not what someone else wants to force me to be, before I can teach them to do the same.